Glenn Hauman: A View From Above

Okay, it's a screenshot from a Facebook thread. But still. (Thanks, Niki!)

Yep, my browser's slowing down again. In no order:

Half of Doctors Routinely Prescribe Placebos

Half of all American doctors responding to a nationwide survey say they regularly prescribe placebos to patients. The results trouble medical ethicists, who say more research is needed to determine whether doctors must deceive patients in order for placebos to work.

Driftglass:

First Atwater came for Reagan's "welfare queens"
- but I was not a welfare queen so I did not speak out.

Then Gingrich came for the Liberals and the Unions,
- but I was taught to call everyone who disagreed with me a traitor, so I did not speak out.

Then Falwell and Robertson came for the gays,
- but gays are icky, so I did not speak out.

Then Limbaugh came for the Feminazis
- but strong, smart women terrify me, so I did not speak out.

And when they came for me, I had the fucking nerve to pretend to be Shocked!Shocked! that my Party was being run by degenerate lunatics.

Bacon Apple Pie. Hmmmm...

Obama's Branding Genius. And somewhere around here is that Obama/Grateful Dead poster...

What I was thinking of saying at Sheri's funeral: Life's a Very Funny Proposition After All. I'll tell you what I did say in another post.

Why women feel colder than men. Mom, this one's for you.

First, to all the people who didn't make it to see this day. David H. Andrew. The missing from the Lower Ninth. Steve Gilliard. Jim Capozzola. Molly Ivins. All the dead in Iraq and Afghahistan. Martin and Malcolm. Rosa and Medgar. Emmett Till. Cesar and Abbie. Jack and Bobby. Toot. Everyone whose time on this earth ran out before their hope did.

Second... to the new President-elect of these United States. Here's to you, sir.

This day is called the Feast of Barack:

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,

Will stand a-tiptoe when the day is named,

And rouse him at the name Obama.

He that shall see this day and live t'old age,

Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,

And say "To-morrow is Obama's Day":

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars

And say "These wounds I had on Obama's day."

Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,

But he'll remember with advantages

What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,

Familiar in his mouth as household words

Indiana, Ohio, Missouri,

West Virginia, Nevada and Georgia,

Be in their flowing cups freshly remembered.

This story shall the good man teach his son;

And Obama's Day shall ne'er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remembered;

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he today that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition:

And people in America now abed

Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Obama's day.

Go vote. And if you have the time, volunteer.

...but I'm a registered Republican in New Jersey, and I haven't gotten a single robocall since the primaries ended. I guess they just aren't trying very hard here.

Oh, but wait-- I have gotten fundraising letters. Which shows their priorities, I guess.

All right, really simple. As you may know, Sarah Palin, "champion of smaller government and family values", and Republican nominee for vice-president, was just found guilty of ethics violations in pressuring her subordinates to fire her ex-brother-in-law, Mike Wooten... using the resources of the state to punish Wooten.

Now, imagine she gets elected to vice-president.

Is there a single person reading this who doesn't think that Mike Wooten will be audited by the IRS?

What if he's put on the no-fly list? In Alaska, that's crippling-- they fly everywhere in the state, plus to get to the continental 48, unless you want to drive for hours through Canada.

How about if Wooten has his passport file flagged? If that happens and he's on the no-fly list, he's effectively locked in Alaska permanently.

Is it out of the realm of possibility that his phone would be tapped and his email scrutinized?

Does anybody think that Sarah Palin wouldn't use the powers of her office to continue going after Wooten? And if so, why would you let her get even close to that level of power?

And if she did get this power-- what would stop her from using it on you if you crossed her?

Paul Krugman on the financial crisis:

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Fear and negative equity … The two things we have to fear are fear itself and negative equity, and the depleted capital of financial institutions … Amongst the things we have to fear are fear itself, negative equity, and the depleted capital of financial institutions.

Okay, this is a bad marketing slogan-- the latest from Microsoft:

Windows -- Life Without Walls

Think about it. Walls are actually important to windows-- they keep the window in place. If you don't have a wall in the first place, you have one of three things:

1. Windows aren't needed; there's nothing in the way.

2. Windows are so big and oversized that it becomes a wall in and of itself;

3. Windows falls to the ground hard and crashes.

Maybe they should bring back Seinfeld.

If you had 4:41 in the pool, you won!

Yes, 4:41 PM, not AM the next day.

As always: 110 Stories.

Oh, and we have this via John Cole: Osama Who?

The mother of all goalpost moves happened yesterday:

Q But Osama bin Laden is the one that — you keep talking about his lieutenants, and, yes, they are very important, but Osama bin Laden was the mastermind of 9/11 –

PERINO: No, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was the mastermind of 9/11, and he’s sitting in jail right now.

 Really. I'll have more to say about this later, because someone should avoid mean (but accurate) words on this day.

...which means it's time to close some windows:

 The USSR was better prepared for a collapse than the US is now, says a man who isn't Jared Diamond.

Porn Saints.

She can borrow millions for a hockey rink for her town, but Sarah Palin wanted rape victims to pay for their own rape kits. A few thoughts: 1. How many rapes weren't reported because they didn't want to pay the money? 2. One can assume that the cost included a morning after pill, which one presumes Palin wanted no part of. 3. According to the police chief that was appointed by Palin, they would have had to allocate enough money expect 12 rapes a year... in a town of 6000 people. That means that they expect the odds of being sexually assaulted is 1 in 500. Which is about four times the national per capita average. But hey, we already know Wasilia is the meth capital of Alaska...

Scott McClellan to Barack Obama: Don't investigate us. “If Obama were to win,” he said last week, “that would be an issue his administration would have to face early ... because he’s pledging to be a uniter, not a divider — without saying those exact words we campaigned on in 2000. He’s pledging to change the way Washington works, and if Congress were to pursue that, it would be very divisive.” You know what unites a community? A crackdown on crime. If law and order crackdowns work in neighborhoods, why won't it work on Wall Street or Pennsylvania Avenue?

Thought control in economics, or the perils of groupthink.

Armstrong WIllams asks: "Who says President Bush is irrelevant and only a burden to anyone who dares invoke his name?" And the answer is: Anyone who takes a quarter of a million dollars in payola to repeat his propaganda, Mr. Williams. So how much did he pay you this time around?

So this is what Ethan Lebovics has been up to...

Oh, and I've joined Facebook. All because some meanie started posting photos of someone that kinda looked like me about 20 years ago. Scaaaaaary stuff.

After watching her speech last night, I think she's only a dye job and a pair of contact lenses away from becoming Ann Coulter.

And Rudy... if he only would have shut his yap, they would have had time to run her promotional video. But no. He had to pick on cosmopolitan people, like those who lived in the city he was mayor of. Let's see how much it hurts the Republicans later-- unless, of course, they decide to run it tonight, or edit it into McCain's video so that they're joined at the hip. A hip replacement, as it were.

McCain has burned the boats. There is no way for him now but forward.

I guess when people got to know me from the last post, a large percentage liked what they heard, and then it went viral...

But really-- what are the odds a white male can get elected President?

In the immortal words of Jon Lovitz and the meme picked up from the distant but not forgotten Lisa Sullivan:

1. What is your occupation right now? VP,Production/Utility Infielder, ComicMix.

2. What color are your socks right now? Black.

3. What are you listening to right now? Wind chimes and a distant highway.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Ham on a bagel. Hah!

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Hell yes.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? A telemarketer asking why I left Verizon (because Verizon cut access to the alt. newsgroups, and you should leave them for that reason too).

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Oh mais oui.

8. How old are you today? 39.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch? I'm not sure it counts as a sport. If it does, it's rarely considered a spectator sport. And like most sports, it's more fun to watch live, and even more fun if you're playing.

10. What is your favorite drink? Alcoholic: Ice wine. Nonalcoholic: Diet Pepsi Max, lord help me.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Occasionally whitened for theatrical reasons. And yes, some of it's still in there. Honest.

12. Favorite food? Roast beef on toasted garlic bread with melted mozzerella and bacon. (Damn. Now I'm hungry.)

13. What is the last movie you watched? Shoot 'Em Up.

14. Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving.

15. How do you vent anger? I have a punching bag in the basement.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Merlin.

17. What is your favorite season? Swimsuit.

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries.

19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? If they don't want me to wonder about them.

20. Who is the most likely to respond? To email? Probably Mike Gold.

21. Who is least likely to respond? The dead ones.

22. Living arrangements? Brownstone.

23. When was the last time you cried? Last week.

24. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes and probably a hairball.

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? Lord, I don't know who's going to read this-- if it's who I think it is, say hi to the kids for me.

26. What did you do last night? Stayed up way too late.

27. What inspires you? If I knew, it wouldn't be an inspiration, it would be a routine. But knowing that what I do goes out into the world in directions I can't predict to effect things in ways I can't anticipate and can never fully explain or even know-- that's impressive.

28. What are you most afraid of? Willful, premeditated, and sustained ignorance.

29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Plain.

30. Favorite cat breed? They have breeds? I've only had mutts.

31. Favorite day of the week? I don't have one. Weekends are usually pretty good.

32. How many states have you lived in? Four: New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Georgia.