The Last Buyout

Question for the audience.

When a new company absorbs a floundering company, they often dump the management that got them in over their heads, and often with the blessings of the shareholders.

So let me give you this hypothetical. Other NATO nations say that they will send a total of 300,000 soldiers to Iraq, to shore up the inadequate number of US troops, but they will do so only under one condition– the Bush administration must resign. The nations providing the soldiers claim that the US upper management is clearly not up to the task, and furthermore, Bush and Cheney are so polarizing that their continued presence in office would prevent any sort of peace being brought to the region. Dubya would be, in essence, bought out like he was for Harken, Spectrum 7, the Texas Rangers, and so may other times when he was able to wash his hands clean of the mess and hand it off to someone else.

What do the nation’s shareholders– citizens– say to this offer? What do you say? I’ve got my own thoughts on the issue, but I want to hear what the rest of you think.

Another media company caves?

Many people have already been reporting that NBC and the CW are refusing to run ads for the new Dixie Chicks documentary, Shut Up And Sing. But now, looking at the Apple trailers website, it seems that Apple has yanked the trailer as well— clicking on the URL at the trailers page sends you to a “page not found” link.

Mr. Jobs? Care to explain? And since you’re the largest shareholder of Disney, which owns ABC and ESPN, does that mean that they won’t run the ads either?

Crooks and Liars actually has the videos here.

UPDATE: The Apple page is back up now. Good, I was worried.

Beltran at the Bat

Arrrrgh…:

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the New York Mets that day:
The score stood one to one, with but one inning more to play,
And then when Rolen got to first, Molina’s turn at bat
Made it clear to one and all the game shouldn’t end like that.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, “If only Beltran could but get a whack at that—
We’d put up even money now, with Beltran at the bat.

But Floyd preceded Beltran, as did also Valentin,
And the former one was injured, while the latter wasn’t “in”;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Beltran getting to the bat.

But Valentin and Chavez to the wonderment of all,
Hit two singles in a row, they really slammed that ball;
And though hopes were pinned on Reyes, after Floyd’s depressing stance,
With Lo Duca loading bases, it seemed the Mets might get to dance.

Then from a million throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It pounded on the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Beltran, mighty Beltran, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Beltran’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Beltran’s bearing and a smile lit Beltran’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ’twas Beltran at the bat.

Two million eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
A million tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt;
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the ball into his hip,
Defiance flashed in Beltran’s eye, a sneer curled Beltran’s lip.

And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air,
And Beltran stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the changeup pitch it sped—
“That ain’t my style,” said Beltran. “Strike one!” the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore;
“Kill him! Kill the umpire!” shouted someone on the stand;
And it’s likely they’d have killed him had not Beltran raised his hand.

With a smile of Christian charity great Beltran’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the dun sphere flew;
This time it was a curveball, and the umpire said, “Strike two!”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened Mets fans, and echo answered “Fraud!”
But one scornful look from Beltran and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Beltran wouldn’t let that ball go by again.

The sneer is gone from Beltran’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate,
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate;
And Adam Wainwright holds the ball, and now he lets it fling
And now the crowd is screaming because Beltran doesn’t swing.

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But there is no joy in Metsville—mighty Beltran has struck out.

(Thanks heaps, Michael.)

Life imitates art…?

So I’m sitting in my basement working when my tenant Shira comes downstairs and pops her head in. She tells me that she’s making her New York City stage debut in a little two-person one-act, and would I like to come and see it? Sure, I say. I’m always happy to be a patron of the arts, particularly if it means that my tenant will have more reliable income.

The premiere was last Saturday, and I dutifully bought my ticket and sat down to enjoy myself.

And lo and behold, the character opposite Shira is named Glenn. And this Glenn spends a lot of time in his basement. And he’s a bit creepy. And he’s got some anger issues. And… oh, man, this is getting just surreal. Every time I hear her call him by name, I have to remind myself I’m in a theater and not answer.

Revealing more about the character reveals more about the play and/or me than is probably fair, so I’ll just tell you to see it for yourself.

Greater Buffalo is atthe Theater for the New City, 155 1st Avenue (between 9th & 10th), NYC, Thursday-Saturday at 8:00 p.m., and Sunday at 3:00 p.m. for the next two weeks. Sex, drugs, and ping pong. Let me know if you see it, so I can tell you which parts aren’t me.