Author: Glenn Hauman

One of the big knocks against Al Gore was that he had peace, allies,
world pre-eminence and a booming economy and still lost to George W.
Bush. Despite the Republican shenanigans, he should’ve had the election
in a cakewalk– so the story goes.
Perhaps (or perhaps the shenanignas were more effective in the first
place than people credit.) But it’s one thing to lose the election, and
another thing to actually lose the peace, allies, world pre-eminence
and the booming economy, wouldn’t you say? How bad do you have to be to
squander the world’s sympathies post-9/11 to a point where you are
making it a toss-up popularity contest against Saddam Hussein? And this
was supposed to be the “likable” candidate, the guy you were supposed
to feel comfortable having a beer with. Maybe there’s something to be
said for the occasional grown-up action after all…

…do it the right way. Bless you, Neil:

Congress has renamed French Fries (for people who didn’t need any
explanation of who Bob Monkhouse was, that’s what the Americans call chips. They keep the word chips in reserve for crisps.),
er, anyway, they’ve renamed them Freedom Fries, to signify their
displeasure with their perfidious former allies. Coming soon in
America: sticking your tongue in someone’s mouth will be known as
freedom kissing, condoms will be freedom letters, while British Actor,
Coraline audio reader and the new Harry Potter, Dawn French, will, for
appearances in America, be forced to change her name to Dawn Freedom.
In Congress they will breakfast on Freedom toast, smear Freedom mustard
on their steaks and drink, well, Californian Wine I expect.
However, at least when shown on TNT, we can assume that the film The French Connection will be shown as, simply, The Connection,
and that any specific source for this connection’s location will have
been digitally erased.
…
I have very mixed feelings about Americans disliking the French. I’m
English, after all. We have a special relationship with the French: we
are in awe of their sophistication, their cuisine and their wines, we
think their women are beautiful, we like them as individuals, we badly
want to go and live in their country when we retire, while at the same
time we are deeply suspicious of them. It’s like having people living
next door to you who may be snappier dressers and better cooks, but
who, after all, borrowed the lawn mower sometime in the thirteenth
century and never gave it back. Anyway, the English dislike the French.
We’re really good at it. We’ve been doing it ever since we got up one
day and realised that the Norman Conquerors were now, like it or not,
Us, and weren’t conquering French people any more. We feel, frankly,
that if anyone’s going to dislike the French, it’s going to be us. On
the whole we manifest our dislike for them by drinking their wines,
buying up their cigarettes, and, despite the fact that all English
people can naturally roll their Rs and speak perfect French, declining
to do so, and when forced by circumstances to speak French the English
do it with an English accent on purpose.
These are tactics we’ve worked out over the course of hundreds of
years, and if carried on long enough, they will bring France to its
knees. I’m English. I know these things.
Changing the name french fries to freedom fries, on the other hand,
will just make them laugh at you.

People have occasionally asked me, “Hey! What makes you, an occasional Star Trek author, qualified to have an opinion on the upcoming war in Iraq?” While it’s true that you usually have to be a cell-phone engineer
to understand the subtle nuances of Middle East politics and why the
French don’t matter except when they do, I would like to point you to
this article:
Can The World of Star Trek Help Americans Understand Muslims and their Culture of Terror?

Most fans of the popular television series, Star Trek, are already
aware that the show’s creator, Gene Roddenberry, gathered ideas for his
fictional Klingon species during a trip to the Holy Land in the late
1960’s. After only a cursory viewing of an early episode of Star Trek,
Landover Baptist Pastors were shocked at how closely Roddenberry’s
Klingon characters resembled Arabs, in both their features and
mannerisms. “I’m not a big fan of Mr. Roddenberry,” says Landover
Baptist Pastor, Deacon Fred. “But our opinions are very similar when it
comes to Muslims. Being a Jew, Mr. Roddenberry knew first hand what it
was like to be persecuted by such a filthy, backward race of
warmongers. My guess is that he couldn’t come right out and say what he
felt in public, so he used the television series, Star Trek, to get his
views across. Only an unsaved idiot would have a hard time seeing how
obvious it is that Star Trek’s, Klingons, are actually Arabs in
disguise. I understand it’s harder to tell with the new series, because
they started to get politically correct and had to change the makeup so
it wasn’t so obvious. Well, you don’t need a degree in Theology to see
how clear it still is. In fact, I think the new makeup does an even
better job of bringing out the demonic nature and character of the Arab
people.”

The amazing Lynne Thigpen has passed away. From AP:

LOS ANGELES — Lynne Thigpen, a Tony Award-winning actress for “An
American Daughter” and co-star of the CBS drama “The District,” has
died, the network said Thursday. She was 54.
Thigpen died suddenly Wednesday night in her Los Angeles home. She had
been in good health and the cause of death was not immediately known,
network spokeswoman Beth Haiken said.
Production was shut down Thursday on “The District,” which stars Craig
T. Nelson as Washington D.C. police chief Jack Mannion. Thigpen played
Mannion’s secretary, Ella Farmer.
“I’m in shock. She was a wonderful actress and a friend,” Nelson said
in a statement.
“We are all in shock and in mourning,” said John Wirth, the drama’s
executive producer. “The beauty, compassion and talent that you saw on
the screen was not just superb acting, it was the very essence of this
wonderful woman. We will miss her terribly.”
The 20th episode was in production this week, Haiken said. A total of
22 was planned for the season.
“Producers, cast and crew are in mourning and no decision has been made
yet about how this will affect the show, because our first concern is
Lynne’s family,” she said.
Thigpen, who was born and raised in Joliet, Ill., and later made her
home in New York, had a distinguished stage career and also worked
steadily in films and television.
In 1997, she received the Tony Award for best supporting actress for
her role as a black Jewish feminist in Wendy Wasserstein’s play “An
American Daughter.”
Thigpen re-created the role in the 2000 TV movie version of the play.
She was nominated for a Tony for her role in “Tintypes,” and won Obie
Awards for “Jar the Floor” and “Boesman and Lena” and an L.A. Drama
Critics Award for her work in a Los Angeles production of August
Wilson’s “Fences.”
On TV, she portrayed the chief in the PBS series “Where in the World Is
Carmen Sandiego?” and “Where in Time Is Carmen Sandiego?” She appeared
in the series “thirtysomething” and “L.A. Law” and the Hallmark Hall of
Fame presentations of “Night Ride Home” and “The Boys Next Door.”
Her film credits included “The Insider,” “Shaft,” “Random Hearts,”
“Lean on Me,” “Bob Roberts” and “Tootsie” and the current “Anger
Management.”
Details on survivors and funeral services were not immediately
available.
Lynne was a wonderful woman. I met her a few years back through her
longtime gentleman friend Larry (husband in all but paperwork and
government sanction) and she was a true delight. Intelligent, fast on
the draw, and everything you could ever want in a dinner companion,
filled with stories of her own, yet eager to hear about yours.
A few years back, I was at a party she threw at her home in New York,
with Peter Riegert, Denny Dillon, and Wendy Wasserstein to celebrate
both Christmas and her birthday. It is hard to imagine a more gracious
hostess. (It also remains the only time I’ve spontaneously heard “Happy
Birthday” sung spontaneously in four part harmony.) There was also the
time I was at a party with Simon Jones (who she worked with on The News Is The News and remained good friends with) and Douglas Adams (who worked with Simon on The HitchHikers Guide To The Galaxy)
and she was laughing as hard as anybody there. I’d invited Larry, she
brought Lynne, Douglas brought Simon, and surprise! “What are you doing
here?” etc.
She was incredibly well-read. Never mind the audiobooks she performed–
Toni Morrison’s Jazz
was her first audiobook, but she also did Maya Angelou, Mildred Taylor,
Virginia Hamilton, Ernest J. Gaines, and Zora Neale Hurston– she also
read science fiction a lot, I remember talking to her about the new
Asimov book she’d read and I hadn’t. And yes, she even showed up in a Star Trek
audiobook.
The word that gets bandied about a lot for her is “dignity”. That both
overstates and understates the case. She had a sense of humor and
playfulness that touched everything she did, and it is a testament to
her skill as an actress that you wouldn’t see it onstage unless the
role called for it. The word that I would use is “richness”– richness
in voice, talent, humor, wisdom, spirit, and soul.
My deepest symapthies to Larry. She will be missed.
UPDATE: Larry posted this elsewhere, and I hope he doesn’t mind me
reposting it here:
Dearest Friends,
Thank you for all your good thoughts and wishes, condolences and
prayers.
Lynne Thigpen was an incredible talent as an actress, a shining light
of dignity and graciousness as a person and the love of my life for 32
wonderfully happy and exciting years. We will miss her so very, very
much.

In other words, the latest Spenser
novel is out.
Everybody has their own sign that spring is imminent. For some, it’s
the swimsuit issue. For others, it’s seeing the Cubs mathematically
eliminated from the playoffs. Me, it’s when Robert B. Parker comes out
with his latest adventure.
Warning: he kills off a long-standing character very very early in the
book.
And did I mention that for my recent birthday, the wonderful Lisa
Sullivan got me a copy of the very limited edition Parker On Writing?
#11 out of 375? Now THAT was a surprise. I have no idea how she did it,
and she ain’t talking. Here’s looking at you, kiddo. If you want to do
something nice for her, pledge money.

Welcome to 03/03/03, the last day of my 33rd year. Thanks to Brandy for
pointing this out.
For you numerology buffs, 3 relates to “Enthusiasm, optimism, charming,
creative, humorous,
fun, attractive, friendly, creative, expressive.”
Tomorrow, 3/4, is my 34th birthday. I understand there are going to be
big parties all over the world in my honor, including some really big
bashes in Rio and New Orleans…
And for those of you who care, yes, there’s an Amazon wish list.

Read PAD’s site now. Geopolitics by way of Warner Brothers cartoons.
Go. Really. What, you need a link or something?

As you
can see, I have once again posted a picture of a can of Campbell’s
Cream of Mushroom soup. As you know, Bob, this is the traditional
Internet symbol indicating that the proprietor of the weblog is too
busy with pressing deadlines to update his site, according to Mark Evanier.
Whenever you see it, you know that though he’s swamped, he’ll be back
in a day or three — or sooner, if events warrant — and that he’ll
resume posting, just as soon as he gets his work schedule under
control.
And when I get a chance to post again… ooo, you’ll have some neat
things to look at.

From an editorial in the London Sun:

The truth is that all the world – including France – recognises that
Saddam Hussein must be dealt with. But only the French President seems
determined to frustrate the will of the international community.
Oh really? Just out of curiosity, how many UN Security Council Vetos
have been cast in the last dozen years by the United States? Answer here. Seems we do a lot more to “frustrate the will of the international community” than those lousy French folks, oui?

Wired News notes:

Fifty-year-old Michael Lekara Wayid, Nigeria’s consul in the Czech
Republic, was shot dead by an unidentified 72-year-old Czech at the
Nigerian Embassy in Prague on Wednesday. According to police reports,
the suspect was a victim of the 419 scam, a thriving industry that
employs thousands of people around the world. The scammers successfully
manage to extort money from thousands of victims by promising them
compensation for assistance in moving funds from foreign countries to
banks in the United States.

The criminals typically make their money by extracting
ever-escalating sums of money for bribes, bank fees and the like from
their “business partners,” that is, the folks they scam. But according
to early reports in Nigerian and Czech newspapers, the gunman’s bank
account was drained after he gave the account number and other personal
details to someone posing as a senior Nigerian official.