Action!

More notes on the tendencies of people I know to fast forward:

Brandy has been DVRing Alias from the beginning of the run on TNT, playing catch-up. But she’s been going through them rather quickly– by fast-forwarding through all the action scenes.

Paraphrasing her: I don’t need to see another scene of Jennifer Garner kicking butt. She does it well, and it’s empowering, blah blah blah, that’s not what I’m watching it for.

Josh Friedman talks about it here:

Movies are too violent because violence in movies is easy to do and boring to watch. And by easy to do I don’t mean easy to commit to film–the people who coordinate fights and car chases and plane crashes and alien attacks are absolute stone cold geniuses at what they do.

The people who are fucking lazy are the writers. Honestly, what does an action scene do to move a story ahead? Nothing. What does it do for a characters’ journey? Nothing. What does it do for the movie itself? Take up a chunk of time that now doesn’t need to be filled with character and story.

And you know why? Because character and story are hard things to write. And it’s easy to write an action scene. I know. I’ve written hundreds of them. They bore the crap out of me. But at least I know they’re gonna take up some pages in my screenplay without me having to figure out the hard stuff. Action sequences are the junk food in any writer’s kitchen. That’s not to say there aren’t good action sequences–ones that literally take your breath away–but those are few and far between. For me, when the tripod in WOTW comes out of the ground and starts blowing shit up with no mercy–my jaw dropped open and my heart actually raced. And I bring that up exactly BECAUSE I was involved in the movie. I knew it was coming and yet it still got me excited.

And shouldn’t the point of action sequences be excitement? No one wants to admit that–but violence in film is supposed to be EXCITING. It rarely is. But that doesn’t stop people from jamming a movie full of it for no reason other than lazy writing.

And thus boring the shit out of us.

They both have a point. I actually find action scenes tedious to write for precisely that reason, and anyone who’s read what I laughingly refer to as my ouvere knows that I have precious few action scenes in my body of work. Most of the action takes place off camera, unless it reveals something about the character or moves the plot along. I always view it as an extension of Elmore Leonard’s dictum: Avoid writing stuff the reader tends to skip.

What it boils down to, of course, is revealing the characters by what they do. Scott McCloud posited in Understanding Comics that expression of art is anything that doesn’t relate to survival or procreation. Most action sequences only concentrate on the survival aspect– and the reason we love James Bond and John McClane is what they do during the survival aspect part of it, the flourishes of style. Because at that moment, we see their character– it’s not just that they overcome adversity, it’s how they do it.

Of course, it’s also possible to have suspenseful action, scenes where action is pending, but how the characters act in those situations also reveal much. Think of the three-way standoff in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, or the preparation scenes in Ocean’s Eleven, or the Super Posse chase in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

But I do find it fascinating what people are getting bored by. One could suppose that one reason Bush’s approval ratings are hitting the ground and beginning to dig is because he’s perceived as doing nothing. No action at all. And no potential for action, as he’s too tightly constricted– and the actions that he’s taken are ineffectual and wrong. And for someone who’s positioning himself as a man of action, that’s deadly. (Oh, you knew there would be a Bush reference somewhere in here.)

Speaking of Alias: there’s a piece on J.J. Abrams in this month’s GQ (the one with Jennifer Aniston on the cover). Worth a quick read, particularly when he talks about story and characters.

In the air tonight, hold on

So I’m composing blog posts while sitting in a 757 on the runway at Newark, on the way out to Las Vegas for work.

No, I’m really going to Vegas for work. Stop laughing.

Okay, I’m staying at a casino. But it’s all that’s really available. Yes, the room is being comped for me.

And yes, I will be spending time with known gamblers. No kidding. It’s Las Vegas. The city is full of them. Sure, some of them are high rollers.

No, I’m going alone, no supervision. No, I don’t know how I’m going to be spending my evenings yet, although I’ve heard something about going out with some sports guys. Maybe a few party happy millionaires– oh, and a few pro poker players who could make livings as professional models.

But it’s all for work. Honest. Why don’t you believe me?


I’m composing all this now, and we’ll get to see what this looks like when I make it to Vegas, as I won’t be able to upload this until I get to someplace with a net connection. Lord only knows what this post will look like when I’m done. Think of it as a catch up for all the stuff that I haven’t posted in the last week or two, since work started getting hectic.


I’m sitting on the tarmac, listening to the piped in music, and just as there are Bad Songs For Weddings, there are Bad Songs for waiting for take-off.

It’s Too Late and Eternal Flame… oh, such lovely omens.
Midnight Train To Georgia… a train song on planes? Sure.
What Are you Doing New Year’s Eve? The way things are going, still sitting here.
Take It To The Limit… hmm. Put me on a highway?
Free Bird. Oy. And not even the real version, but the one combined with “Baby I Love Your Way”. Heresy. Of course, if they were going to choose the Skynyrd one, you might thing about– oh, heck, you might as well start playing Buddy Holly music then. Maybe some Stevie Ray Vaughn.
Could It Be I’m Falling In Love? Okay, that one’s pretty innocuous… we’ll let them go from there.


Speaking of Buddy, Stevie, and so on: isn’t it stunning that it’s been 25 years since John Lennon was shot?

Want to know what’s even more amazing? Since then, over 800,000 people have been died from firearms in America.

Shutdown now, time for takeoff–

–back. Still not King.

Seems that the in-flight movie is Batman Begins, which is a good choice. I’ll let you in on an admission: Ducard got me. I was expecting something entirely different, and it was written just to sucker in fanboys like me.

Of course, some readers are wondering why I’m watching the movie instead of working on the writing I’m supposed to be doing for them. Patience, I say– this is a warm up exercise. A long warm-up exercise. An exhaustive warm-up.


That was weird. Something just made the same ping-pong noise that gets made when they’re closing the doors on a subway car. What doors are closing here, and why didn’t I feel the draft?


What was that West Wing about night flying? It’s annoying to not be able to get my hands on scripts and/or net access from six miles up.

Good grief, what am I talking about sometimes? As I sit in a pressurized metal tube flying across the planet, going non-stop over 2500 miles, typing on more computing power than they used to land Apollo 11, watching movies and being blase about it all.

Yet more to be thankful for.

I think as I grow older, Thanksgiving is becoming my favorite holiday. I think I know why– it’s secular, there’s really no religious component to it; but most of all, there’s no acquisition to it. We don’t go out shopping for gifts, we don’t spend time figuring out what we want for gifts so that people can get something appropriate for us, we don’t fake smile at the stuff we don’t want and get and we don’t panic about when we get a really good gift that ours is inadequate.

All this holiday is a bout is being thankful for what you have and sharing what you have with others, both people you care about and people who you barely know. What a pleasant change of pace.

Which reminds me: there was a fellow posting in the comments on Peter’s blog about how he was thankful for nothing– everything he got, he earned. What an amazing ego. He must make his parents very proud, earning their genetic heritage and all. Even if you have no one to thank, be thankful for what you have. Heck, be thankful for all the things you didn’t want and didn’t get.

I hope you’ve had a good Thanksgiving, and found something to be thankful for.


Continuing on inappropriate in-flight entertainment: All right, now they’re running a Hope And Faith episode where, if I’m viewing this right, Hope and Faith fake being stewardesses to sneak aboard an aircraft and find their mom. Wackiness ensues.

Do the airlines really want to be showing an episode showing how easy it is to sneak onto an aircraft?


Got in a half hour early, drove around the city a bit in a PT Cruiser, registered, unpacked, got some food at the all night restaurant in the casino, and won enough money to pay for my internet connection all week.

More later.

Giving Thanks

It’s that time of year again.

A time when you need to remember just how got you’ve really got it– because no matter how annoyed or inconvenienced or sad you may be, somebody else out there has got it as bad or worse.

Just consider that somewhere tomorrow:

Somebody will be missed because they’re out working because they have to.

Somebody was in that car accident that kept you stuck in traffic for an extra hour.

Somebody will be sharing dinner with someone who molested them. Maybe earlier that day.

Somebody will be wondering how they’re going to pay for this dinner when the plant’s just closed down.

Somebody will be able to smell the turkey, but not be able to see it. For the first time. Others won’t be able to hear the dinner conversation. A few won’t remember the people that they’re eating with.

Somebody will have to make do with hospital food. Many of those folks will have to have help in being fed.

Somebody won’t be able to keep their food down because of the chemo treatments.

Some families have no kitchen to cook a dinner this year. Some have no homes to have a dinner in.

For many, this will be their last Thanksgiving ever. Some folks will know it and savor what they can. Others won’t know it’s come and gone until it’s too late, and they won’t make the next one.

And somebody– too many somebodies– just won’t have any dinner at all.

For you and yours, have a happy Thanksgiving. Be grateful for what you have, mindful of what you have taken, and share what you can. And even though it may be hard to remember all this when you’re stuck on the road, just remember– the traffic behind you is worse. Be thankful.

What kind of humanist are you?

Hardhat

You are an atheist, a rationalist, a believer in the triumph of science and of reason over libido. You can’t stand mumbo jumbo, ritual, spiritual nonsense of any kind, and you refuse to allow for these longings in others.

Astrologers, Scientologists and newage crystal ball creeps are no different in your view from priests, rabbis and imams. They’re all just weakminded pilgrims on the road to easy answers. Nature as revealed by science is awesome enough for you, but it’s a nature that needs curbing and taming by us on our evolutionary journey to perfection.

Your heros are Einstein, Darwin, Marx and — these days — Gould, Blakemore, Watson, Crick and Rosalind Franklin. Could you be hiding a little behind those absolutist views, worried that, if you let in a few doubts and contradictory ideas, the whole edifice might crumble? Loosen up a bit and try to enjoy the amazing variety of human belief systems. Don’t worry — it’s unlikely you’ll end up chanting your days away in some distant mountain cult.

What kind of humanist are you? Click here to find out.

(Via Majikthise.)

The most honest writing I’ve seen in days

“Yeah, I need to reassure myself of my qualifications, because right now I am staring at a page, under a fucking deadline, with that dark black combo of writer’s block and the endless echo of ‘you’re a fucking hack’ that every screenwriter gets at 3am, whenever 3am decides to fall that day. I am vulnerable, and scared, and lie through my teeth every time I take a job because every job I’m convinced this’ll be the one I can’t pull off. And when you’re a writer, that NEVER. FUCKING. STOPS. UNTIL. YOU’RE DEAD.”

So sayeth John Rogers.

Back in gear

Yes, I’ve been away for a while. It’s one of those oddities of blogging, if you stay away for a bit, you note that other people start covering all the things you might have commented on, and often doing a better job of it than you do. And after a while, you’re just reading instead of writing, and the entire point of the exercise seems to get a little bit lost.

Oh sure, there’s a lot I could comment on– my trip to The Colbert Report, organized by Ms. Lisa, how I ended up coloring Jon Sable Freelance: Bloodtrail #6, how the role-playing game editing is going, the Star Trek proposal that’s driving me nutso, my upcoming trip to Vegas, and so on… but as other deadlines come up, stuff just passes by and it’s too far back in the rear view mirror to go back for.

And too much of what I could have written would have just sounded like gloating at the misfortunes of Bush the younger, no matter how deserved. And sadly, there’s not that much to gloat over, except that people are beginning to wake up and distrust him– five years too late. (Really, he played fast and loose with so many facts and stories starting during the election of 2000, and people are shocked NOW that he lied to you? And are only getting wise to it now? Sheesh, there are a lot of gullible people in this country.)

However, I got two notes today that seem to have gotten me inspired– well, that and a few minutes of free time while waiting for an oil change. Oddly enough, they’re both asking me for financial advice.

From Name Withheld in NJ: Question for you about an investment we’re considering making. Master Replicas makes a $999 special Vader mask, highly detailed and signed by both Hayden Christiansen and James Earl Jones. There are only 500 in the series. Do you think this would be a good investment, either for the long or the short term?

I would tend to say not, unless you know someone’s going to be shooting Hayden soon. (Hey, it could happen. I know some folks who are thinking about it.) It’s not particularly liquid, and you guys are supposed to be saving up for a house. And if you’re buying it with a credit card and not paying it off immediately, forget it– the mask would have to appreciate in value faster than the interest on the card just to break even. At 15% annual interest, the thing would have to go up pretty quickly over time.

From comments, Courtney writes: I’ve managed to save up roughly $88445 in my bank account, but I’m not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

Courtney, I just don’t know enough about your local market (do houses cost $80,000, $800,000, or $8,000,000?), your family situation, or whether you have any desire in being a landlord in a multi-family home. But here are some quickie guidelines.

First, you only need to care if your house is losing value if you’re going to sell it later or borrow against it. If neither of these are likely in the next decade or so, then you don’t have to worry, you still have a house, presuming you can keep swinging the mortgage. Of course, since most folks move an average of once every seven years, this may not be something you wish to rely on.

The easiest way to avoid losing value in your house, of course, is to avoid overbuying. If that roughly (?) $88445 is 50% of the home value, then even if the house drops in value by 20%, you’ve only lost 10% of your investment– and you still have 40% of the value of the house in equity. If, on the other hand, that’s 5% of a $1.6 million dollar house, if the value of that house drops just 5%, you’ve lost all your equity in the house. Given my druthers, I’d like to have a 20% down payment at least, as 20% equity is the magic number where you can drop payment and mortgage insurance, which will save you a few hundred a month or so.

Another rule of thumb: how much could you rent the house you’re looking at for? If it’s less than the mortgage you’d carry, avoid it. (If it’s multifamily, include all apartments. This is where you can make a great amount of cash– the difference between the apartment you’d keep in the multifamily and the one you’re renting now may save you a lot. But keep that difference as liquid as you can: pay down credit card debt, etc. and then keep it handy to pay off house surprises. There are always surprises. Luckily, in a multi-family dwelling they’re tax-deductible.)

And here’s a biggie: figure out the change in commuting costs. Your dream house is 40 miles from your job? 400 miles a week. Car gets 20 MPG? That’s 20 gallons a week without trying. Gas is $2.50 a gallon? $50 a week, $200 a month, $2500 a year. If gas goes back up to $3 a gallon, that’s $60 a week, $3000 a year. Gas hits $4? Ouch.

Anyway, that’s my two cents. Insert legal disclaimer here; not responsible for advice taken or not taken.

UPDATE: Okay, this is weird. I just got another comment from “Courtney”, same message except for the amount of money saved– going from $80K to $15K (roughly) and from a different IP address. It might be spam, but the motive eludes me.

There’s no retiring from writing

Robert Heinlein observed that there’s really no such thing as a retired writer. They just don’t seem to be predisposed to it. Which is a good thing, as it meant that Arthur Silber couldn’t stay away from blogging for long.

Welcome back, Arthur. Your voice was missed.

Meanwhile, back to semi-brief radio silence while I work on deadlines. I will note that many of the stories, and most of the good one, that come from an editorial production perspective start with the phrase, “First of all, (blank) was late…”