George W. Bush is a wife beater!

No, not really. If I was really to seriously make that statement, I’d
have to be Ann Coulter. But bear with me here for a minute.
The stereotypical wife beater is somebody who’s pushed around by life,
and because he can’t do what he really wants to do, at the end of the
day he goes out and gets drunk and pushes around other guys at the bar,
and then he goes home and beats the holy hell out of his wife.
So how does this apply to Dubya? Well, he doesn’t drink anymore. We
think. But he can’t do what he really wants to do, the thing that would
make him happy and get his boss of his back– getting the guys who
caused the 9/11 attacks, catching whoever sent those letters full of
anthrax. (Okay, maybe he doesn’t really want to go after the second
one, because he sent his stuff to Democrats– but he’s doing it to get
the boss of his back, to stop the nagging from the media.)
But he hasn’t yet. It’s quite possible he can’t.
So what does he do? He takes it out on his bitch, Saddam. He’s easy to
beat on, he stays out of sight, and he really does deserve it, the
bastard just won’t listen to us; even if he does what we ask now (like
inspections) he’s just going to betray us later.
So let’s smack him. Even if he hasn’t done anything wrong. After all,
if we don’t know what he’s done to deserve it, he does.
Now, with that, let’s consider Saddam.
He knows Bush wants to hit, no matter what Saddam does. He can be nice,
he’ll get hit and publically humiliated. He can be mean, he’ll get hit.
He can fight back– maybe he won’t get hit as badly, maybe he’ll get
hit worse. So does he make it easy or hard to get hit?