I was in a lousy mood, writing in my basement office (yes, Virginia,
despite the name, View From Above is often composed in a basement. I’d
write from the roof, but the wireless connection up there tends to
clash with the hub’s from the school across the street, and they get
very antsy when I bring my rifle up there with me to write) and the
doorbell would ring every so often.
Now, I had enough of this earlier in the day, when the school denizens
proceeded to march around the block showing off their costumes in an
impromptu parade, complete with banging drums that did wonders for my
powers of concentration. And now they were ringing the bell. This is no
way to work.
So I decided to take the side exit out of the brownstone into the
alley, with candy in hand. I came up behind the kids and parents on the
porch, who were peering inside, trying to see if someone was going to
come give them any treats. They were oblivious to me.
What else could I do? I shouted “RrrrraaaAAARGH!” at the top of my
lungs. The kids, of course, screamed in terror. So, to my delight, did
some of the parents.
This set the trend for the evening. I would lie in wait in the
basement, wait for unsuspecting victims, and make my own fun. Shame I
didn’t have any really good scare items handy, like a chainsaw or an
axe.
Oh, stop looking at me like that. At least I didn’t do what TBogg did (which I shamelessly lift here):
After dinner I settled down at the computer to look for things to
post on the blog. I was just finishing an article on Harvey Pitt and
his failure to let the other members of the SEC board know about recent
appointee William Webster’s membership on an audit committee that faces
fraud charges. With this in mind, and the idea that investor confidence
would surely be shaken, I was surprised to hear a knock at the door.
Upon opening the door I found two oddly dressed children standing on
the porch with open bags and expectant looks on their faces. Needless
to say, it immediately occurred to me that they were going door-to-door
begging for food. I thought to myself, has the economy collapsed this much? Is this what we have come to?
When I asked them if they were hungry, they glanced at each other with
quizzical looks that I took to mean “duh…of course we’re hungry”.
Thinking that they looked like they could use a hot meal, I asked if
they would like to come in and have, maybe a grilled-cheese sandwich.
At this point they nervously glanced toward the street and I saw what I
assumed to be their parents standing on the sidewalk with anxious
smiles looking toward us. How incredibly sad! These people had been
reduced to taking their children out on a cold October night to beg for
food!
Have we become a third world country? Is this what the Bush
administration has brought upon us?
Noting the awkwardness of feeding only the children and not the parents
I decided the best course of action was to give them canned goods
because who knew when they would get a chance to eat this evening and I
couldn’t count on them still having refrigeration, much less a home to
return to. After dropping several cans of corn and a can of asparagus
into the young girl’s bag, I decided to give the boy a special treat
hoping that he would understand the type of world he would have to make
his way in. I dropped into his bag a slightly dog-eared copy of Adam
Smith’s The Wealth of Nations. Although I felt a copy of Atlas Shrugged
would be more informative for the young lad, I didn’t have an extra
copy to spare at the time.
Apparently the children were shocked at my generosity for they were
speechless. I told them “Good night” and yelled, “Good luck” to their
waiting parents and started to close the door. As they walked back
toward their parents I heard the boy say an amazing thing. He looked in
his bag at the precious book I had given him and muttered to his sister
one simple word: “Asswipe”.
Now my heart was truly broken for I realized that these people were so
poor that they couldn’t even afford toilet paper and the book would
soon become a poor substitute. Poor Adam Smith– he never meant for his
words to be treated in such a way, but these are the times we live in…