There is a universal delusional fantasy that occurs when you glance at a stranger of the desired gender and you’re momentarily convinced that they are the answer to all your hopes and dreams.
To quote Citizen Kane: A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn’t think he’d remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry, and as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in, and on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn’t see me at all, but I’ll bet a month hasn’t gone by since that I haven’t thought of that girl.
My friend Ed has a great definition of population saturation: When you walk down the street and see a pretty girl, and another one comes along before you’ve finished staring at the first one, you’ve reached saturation point. He’s got a point. And when you find that you have the delusion bad, it can happen many times a day, on the street, at the market, waiting at the station– you just see a face and you know you can spend the next year staring at that face with all its little tics and quirks and sometimes they blow it by opening their mouth and saying something and you know it won’t work, or you realize beyond all doubt that this person can be the one. And then a few steps and that person is gone like a mist in a breeze.
My only solace is that this happens to 90% of you too. And misery loves company. Now all we need is a name for the condition, so we can point to it and toast it while we drink. Any suggestions?
Um, ultimate objectification? I’m sorry, all this “staring at girls” stuff is giving me the creeps.
I dunno– I’ve heard women make similar comments about guys, including mutual friends of ours. I don’t think it’s gender-specific.
But you’re right, there is a sort of objectification going on here– idealized and romanticized, to be sure.
I say we just toast to Dulcinea and be done with it.
Um, ultimate objectification? I’m sorry, all this “staring at girls” stuff is giving me the creeps.
You’ve never seen someone and thought, “Wow. What a beautiful human being”? Your loss.
A couple of my friends and I still reminisce about the time a girl walked out of a store up the sidewalk from us, and with a glance sent all three of our hearts into our throats.
We make character judgements on the people we see every day; we do it at the movies, we do it reading comics, and we do it in life. We write stories for people using nothing more than what we see. I don’t see much difference between looking at someone and thinking “looks smart,” or “looks unpleasant,” and what Glenn’s talking about.
BTW, thanks for the Citizen Kane quote Glenn, it captures the idea perfectly. It also reminds of of a bit in City Slickers when Jack Palance is talking about how the only time he’d ever been in love was with a woman he’d see years earlier across a field.
“You’ve never seen someone and thought, ‘Wow. What a beautiful human being’?”
Sure I have, with both men and women. But it’s a passing thought, not a lingering obsession. Didn’t your mom ever tell you that staring was rude? 🙂