(While trying to clear out my draft posts folder, I came across this notion from May, and figured we could all use this as a break from reading about New Orleans.)
(Where was I? Oh, yeah. In a past life…)
…I was the co-host of the Love Conference on EchoNYC. This was back in the early days of Echo, pre-WWWAC and pre-Mosiac.
With all that, I’m finding this thread on Craig’s List Casual Encounters to be absolutely fascinating. Since the posts have been removed, I save them here for posterity.
It started with this post to Craig’s List Casual Encounters section:
married woman looking for married man – w4m 43yr: “Im 5’1, 115, white, petite, blonde, grey eyes, great smile and very good skin.
Guys – I posted about twenty minutes ago – I’ve had already at least a dozen replies – that’s good. What’s not good is that none have bothered to read my post. You should be (non-negotiable) 40 -45 (sorry ‘Bronx Buck – 32’), in good shape (sorry ‘JK’) and able to write a decent email. You must send a pic. ‘Cocker’ from Poughkeepsie, you are an idiot and I hope you never procreate.
Im looking for a man age 40 – 45, local area. You must be white, married, at least 5’9, in good shape and able to treat this as a no-strings meeting that may possibly lead to further meetings if the sex is very good. You should also be courteous, well-groomed and able to hold a conversation. I like dirty talk in bed but its a turn-off in your first email or first phone conversation.
My husband is away until Friday – I can meet any time until then, after that I can only meet on weekday mornings. I will share hotel bill. If we meet it must be somewhere at least 20 miles from Chappaqua. We will meet for a coffee or drink. If that goes well, we get a room.
Please reply with a message about you and a pic. You get my pic if I like your email and pic.
- this is in or around Chappaqua
- no — it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
71277456″
(Via craigslist nyc.)
And this is how it continued:
Please read carefully – w4m, with some updates at the end – w4m: “Please read carefully – w4m, with some updates at the end – w4m – 41
Reply to: anon-71453760@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-05-03, 2:17PM EDT
I’m the Chappaqua blonde, grey eyes, great smile and skin, 115, who was looking for a married man, 40-45, reasonably fit, must send pic etc etc.
I found my guy – the exact guy, in fact, that I was looking for from the outset: my philandering husband. To the other 250+ married creeps who replied over the last two days – you should all pray your wives don’t catch you out like this. Its so easy and obvious .. one doubts your collective intelligence. BTW, the ‘meeting’ at Starbucks in Greenwich never happened. I thought it made for good ‘realism’ though.
Andy:
We won’t be meeting next Tuesday at the Yorktown Starbucks. I have moved to my sister’s house. ‘Jenni’ who you spoke with on the phone was an actress and probably earned the easiest $500 of her life. My lawyer taped the conversation. My lawyer also has a copy of your response to my ad, and transcipts of our three IM conversations.
To send ‘Jenni’ a pic, including me with my face blacked out, taken at our anniversary party, was utterly unbelievable and underscores the contempt you apparantly have for me.
I’ve also taken the PC and your other laptop. My lawyer will have a computer expert check them. I suspect you’ve done this more than once.
No doubt you think you’ve been very clever. I suspected something was wrong in February when M****** told me that you and C****** had been talking about internet ‘dating’ at the club. C****** told M****** that you seemed very knowledgeable about it and that you had mentioned Craig’s List casuals several times.
I’m not heartbroken now. That was yesterday. You’ve lost a wife who adored you. Faith is a two way deal and you blew it. You are an a-hole and a complete shit.
I’ve left a print out of this on the kitchen counter although I suspect you’ll probably read this online before you get home, when you next check out the casuals.
I have had somebody remove and destroy our bed. When you get home you can sleep in the guest room. I have cancelled our dinner with J* and P**** Friday night. I have told my parents that we are divorcing and why. You should speak to your father. You should understand that as a consequence of your actions you will cause great sadness and heartbreak to a good man who has shown me nothing but affection, and whom I love dearly.
I’ve put all the jewelry, and the wedding ring you gave me, into the storm drain at the end of the road. I’ve sent your mother’s rings back to you father by recorded delivery. I didn’t enclose a note – you can explain to him.
I have an appointment for a full STD check this afternoon. If I have the merest hint of any infection, I will send copies of your email, the IM chat and the pic you sent, to all our friends, your family and your work colleagues. Believe me, you will understand the meaning of the saying ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’. I suggest you say a prayer that you haven’t given me anything.
I’ll see you in court. Don’t call me – if you do, my lawyer will get a protection order against you.
Jennifer
And it ends with this:
Chappaqua Jennifer – conclusion and goodbye – w4m 41yr: “I’m back from my doctor, results in a few days and, otherwise, I’m done with this whole sorry mess. Once I send this, its a hot bath and a large gin martini. Tomorrow I start a new life.
Some of the posts on CL have been critical of me for using CL to catch my husband cheating. I am (was) his wife. We were married 11 years and I adored him, assumed he adored me, and that he was as happy as I was. Thats what he told me. Since I had my suspicion in February, I went out of my way ensure we had plenty of time together, a time when anything could be discussed, including a week together in Aruba, and another in the Bahamas. Nothing was said. I don’t particularly want to discuss my sexlife here, but I will say that during this time, things were vigorous and daily. He had his opportunity to put anything on the table. He didnt commit a hotheaded crime of passion. I could probably get over a drunken fling with a cocktail waitress. He planned premeditated adultery, and likely has done repeatedly. Thats why I plan an immediate divorce. As I said, I was heartbroken yesterday. I’ve moved on today.
Before I go, I want to make it very clear to you what I think about the activities you guys (specifically, the married guys) get up to here.
Quite simply, you’re pond-scum: you are prepared to risk any happiness that might remain in your marriages against the your lack of self-control, decency and the promises you made to your wives. You’re prepared to risk the happiness of your children. You’re prepared to risk bringing disease to your wives. It’s utterly contemptible. Be men and get divorces, if thats what you really need.
I received a lot of emails and pictures in the last two days. 80% of you are unattractive, semi-literate crude baboons or just plain deceitful. The other 20% are clueless fratboys who shouldn’t be allowed in charge of real penises. I found a particularly ugly category in those (married men) who sympathized with me against my soon-to-be-ex’s betrayal, and in the same breath, offered me comfort and TLC. Pond scum.
All messages are deleted so you can all breathe a sigh of relief. But I do have a good memory for faces and if I’m ever alone at a bar or restaurent or shopping mall and one of you hits on me, or passes me, believe me, my every instinct will be to spit in your faces. And if you’re with a woman, believe me, she and I will have a very direct and interesting conversation.
So if you see a well dressed blonde, 41, 5’1, 115 with grey eyes and a great smile and skin, I suggest you look the other way.
***********
I just received this sophomoric mail:
‘I just wanted to respond to your post. I know I wasn’t one of the men that recently emailed you. But why the harsh remarks about all the men that post on craigslist? I was happily married for 4 years and just found out that my wife and mother of my child has been cheating on me for the last 13 months. So….I mean really, not all the men here are scum. Some of the women can be pretty deceitful as well.’
Whats your point James? The vast (I mean absolutely HUGE) majority of posters here are guys. My guess is that the very few ‘women’ posters are eithers hookers or scam artists. Sure, women commit adultery too, and I’m sure for you the feeling was as horrible as the feeling I experienced. But you think your wife’s unfaithfullness gives you carte blanche to act the same way? Be a man for your child’s sake, you spineless little turd.
(Via craigslist nyc.)
That was the most entertaining thing I’ve read in weeks. Thanks. I shared it with my wife.