Here’s the thing: I was thinking about writing a post about a friend who had just done something pretty dang dumb, even after I counseled against it and offered to help with an alternative course of action. And then I realized that there was a chance that if I wrote it, my friend would see it and no longer be my BFF, or something.
And that’s what I’ve got against LJ– this entire concept of writing posts that would then be placed in a locked post, for friends only.
It never really works. I’ve got people telling me things from locked posts that got forwarded by one of the friends, often in the “Can you be-lieve Grizabella said that about Jemima? How do you think Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer will react?”
If you can’t post on a blog something that you wouldn’t want to put on the front page of the New York Times, you may just be engaging in idle gossip. At the very least, you’re hiding something. If you can’t draw a lesson from it without keeping folks’ names out of it, find another medium to communicate in and stop this hidey-seeky silliness. Say what you mean, or file off the serial numbers if you feel you must. But try to stand behind your words.
I know, it’s not always feasible because of work or family or whatever– but as I’ve often said, the only thing a person has that’s really worth a damn is a unique point of view. Why hide it under a bushel?
That’s certainly one opinion.
And it’s one I disagree with.
I have both an LJ account and a blog account. I mirror most posts. But some I don’t put on my blog.
Why?
Because I can’t lock it.
I have posted things about work. I’ve posted things about family. I’ve posted things I simply don’t want the whole world, or even my general acquaintances, to see. But I do want my closest friends to see them, so they know what’s going on–and often to vent.
So I post on LJ. And I lock it. And I trust my friends not to repeat it.
I think, if you keep hearing things from locked posts, the issue isn’t with LJ. It’s with the people telling you these things.
The bottom line is that secrecy always relies upon the people holding the secrets. If you friend-lock something and someone blabs, it’s not because LJ sucks or friend-locks suck or it’s a stupid idea. It’s because you put your trust in the wrong person. Someone who probably shouldn’t be counted as a friend.
I’m very careful who I include when I do friend-lock something–which I don’t do often, btw, just when I think it’s really necessary.
As far as I know, no one has betrayed that confidence yet. Even if they did, however, I wouldn’t blame LJ or swear off friend-locks. I’d just be more careful who I included.
Also, you seem to think that everything you post should be something that could appear on the New York Times front page. Perhaps that’s the purpose of your blog. It’s not mine. I use my blog/LJ as a way to keep in touch with friends and keep them posted on my life. And I don’t want the whole world to read about my life. So while the writing quality is sufficient for the NYT, I would not want what I’m posting to appear there.
When I eventually get my professional site up and running, that’s a different story. That’s a public face, specifically for PR purposes, and anything I put there I’m willing to see widely disseminated. But my LJ and blog are private. They’re meant for friends and family only–and sometimes only for a very specific subset of them.
I agree with Aaron — the problem is with the people, not the format.
But I also agree with Glenn — posting something on the Internet you’re uncomfortable with the whole world knowing is oftentimes asking for trouble. *wry grin*
Of course, I’ve done all of one friendslocked list in my life, in order to vent about someone doing something stupid, and I =still= kept it vague….
—KRAD
See, and that’s part of the issue. I don’t even want to give the impression I’m talking about someone behind their backs. Or in front of their backs. Whatever.
That’s what LJ means to me– that you’re writing things that you’ll share with some folks, but not others. And I suspect a lot of people share in perceiving that stigma.
Glenn, I am often surprised by the casual way people post private information online, even under a locked post. But there are a few types of locked posts that make sense, at least to me.
For example, LJ allows for filters. Let’s say you have many friends from all over the world reading your journal, and you want to invite the local ones to get together at a bar without bothering everyone else with the invitation. You could set the post to be read only by those local friends of yours.
As for not standing behind their words — well, even in a locked post you can’t be anonymous. People who make locked posts are standing behind their words; they’re just doing it to a private audience. That audience is expected not to share the private stuff further. If they do, then the poster ought to find himself or herself another audience. 🙂