I got this email a while back promising a nice sum of money if I just helped this Nigerian government official move his inheritance to an American bank and to make a long story short, it hasn’t worked out so well for me money-wise.
So my neighbor Brett said I told you so, I told you if you believe this guy you’ll be wasting your money.
And I said back no way, dude! I did not waste that money! To say the money was wasted is an insult to the money, which had nothing to do with the decision that resulted in its loss! I demand you apologize for denigrating innocent money I said, emphatically.
Fortunately, Brett did the right thing. You’re right, man, he said, the money wasn’t wasted. It was sacrificed. That’s completely different! I’m, like, totally sorry I said wasted just because it was such a grievous price to pay for such a stupid mistake.
And I said OK then, I accept your apology on behalf of the lost money. Just remember! Money only follows orders. Money does not make policy. Therefore, money is never wasted. QED, dude.
And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go send Mr. Abacha one more check.
(Via Busy, Busy, Busy.)