Glenn Hauman: View From Above

(Via The News Blog.)

The Hardness Factor: A stocking stuffer about stuffing your stocking… except, since it’s an e-book, it can’t even be used to stuff a stocking.

And it’s not really the sort of book you’d want to give as a Christmas gift, is it? A going-away present, maybe…

the chance to eat candy out of Santa’s butt.

No Yule log jokes, please.

I’ve had the misfortune to have my email box filling up with spam bounces the last few weeks, due to someone sending out spam and using a domain I control as a return address.

Interestingly, I’m now getting a lot of bounces coming back to me in foreign languages. Occasionally, I’m get spam in foreign languages as well. And it occurs to me just how much spam shows up in foreign mailboxes that can’t even be read by the “intended recipient”.

It’s got to bug the snot out of them. It must come across as the electronic equivalent of some rude tourist coming into their home and shouting at them in a hope that they’ll give them some of that good smelling stuff, and when they can’t make it clear they yell louder, and there’s no way to shut them up because they don’t even share a common tongue, so the loudmouths just keep yammering.

So there’s yet another reason to stop spammers: it hurts our already-hurting image in the world.

Of course, part of me suspects that some people in our government keep spammers out of jail so that they have a new way of sending encoded messages to agents overseas, as part of tradecraft…

…a shirt that stands up for indecision.

I’ve decided that over the next twelve days, I’m going to list the cheesiest, wackiest, strangest, and downright oddest gifts I’ve come across for the season. And what, you ask, could we possibly start with? Stem cells.

Santa Claus does not carry a pistol.

We put up this link because Warren Ellis is on vacation. Next, we’ll find… oh, I’m not going to spoil the surprise. Mwah-hah-hah…

What, haven’t you been reading this weblog?

All right– people hang things too low. There. Now go forth and have a good time.

…but I’ve already gotten some wonderful holiday presents from many of you, it’s almost making my heart leap with what could possibly be coming next.

Happy Festivus, all. And if I don’t get online before then, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Joyous Kwanzaa, Io Saturnalia (dang, I think that one already passed), and Happy Unbirthday to “Bob”.

New Jersey: Land without sarcasm – Yahoo! News:

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) – New Jersey, trying to overcome its reputation for corruption, traffic and toxic waste dumps, has rejected dozens of sardonic and sarcastic entries in a contest for a new tourist slogan.

A list of five possible slogans released on Wednesday leaves out “New Jersey: We can always use another relative on the payroll,” and “Come to New Jersey: It’s not as bad as it smells.”

Voters get to pick the winner in the competition launched after Gov. Richard Codey nixed “New Jersey: We’ll Win You Over,” created by a consultant who was paid $260,000.

“It makes me think of when I was young and single and asked a girl out,” Codey said in a statement. “She turned me down. I said, ‘Give me a chance, I’ll win you over.'”

Nearly 7,800 entries were submitted to promote a state not widely known for its pristine countryside and sun-soaked beaches.

The five finalists are: “New Jersey: Expect the Unexpected,” “New Jersey: Love at First Sight,” “New Jersey: Come See for Yourself,” “New Jersey: The Real Deal” and “New Jersey: The Best Kept Secret.”

Voters in the Garden State have until January 1 to make their selection.

The Best Kept Secret is true– and we’d really like to keep it that way, okay?