Month: February 2006

Cheney’s Got A Gun… Everybody is on the run…

There’s been a lot of talk, but let’s get to some speculation, and hope someone here can provide a yes or no answer.

Is it possible that Cheney shot Harry Whittington by accident because of a seizure?

Think about it. Sudden chest pain, Cheney turns in pain and clutches hard around the trigger, and fires.

I don’t know if the gun can work like that, but it seems plausible to me. And that would give reason for a Cheney coverup, because he was in bad health as well. He did have that ambulance crew tailing him, after all. And I couldn’t find any head shots (sorry) of Cheney going to work today, everything was from the back.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Cheney’s health is failing. Quickly. And he may leave office for health reasons. And now, he may be pushed out.

Seriously. Don’t you think he looks tired?

The strangest Valentine’s Day blog post ever

Go visit this site. This is the work of Glenn Feron, professional photo retoucher.

Why am I pointing him out? Because he shows some of the most striking magazine covers in the world, before he gets his hands on them, and after.

It’s staggering to watch. (Wow, she really looks like that before retouching? Yes she does. I used to do this for a living, and it’s even sneakier than you think. And then you’re going to find out that she’s only 4’11.)

So take a look. And realize that the difference between the great beauties of the day and the women you know aren’t quite as far apart as you might think. Stop lusting after idealized versions of women that don’t exist outside of a Photoshop file– or, if you prefer, know that your woman could have been on the cover of Vogue too, without as much effort as you think. And love your woman for who at what she is– and know that she can clean up just as nicely as any of these women.

Snowbound

(Note: I just remembered I’d written this post, but never got around to posting it when my net connection came back. C’est la vie.)

There’s over a foot on the ground and it’s still coming. And the net connection is out. So it’s my cue to close some windows, write up some notes, and hope that this posts when I return to the 21st century.

From the Wall Street Journal, a piece on how Valentine’s Day is not only the biggest day of the year for florists, but for private investigators. Via Metafilter. Also from the same article, RevengeLady.com, which reminds me of a business I’d considered starting in college, dealing in revenge-o-grams. That grew out of a minor little fracas I had been asked to help equalize… another time.

We have this story:

Bush seeks to slash public broadcast funds:

WASHINGTON (Hollywood Reporter) – President George W. Bush took a swipe at Big Bird and his ilk Monday as he proposed slashing funds to public broadcasting by more than $150 million.

…which goes along with this picture by way of Warren Ellis.

I call shennanigans

From CNN.com – Boehner confident of GOP chances – Feb 10, 2006:

“If it weren’t for lobbyists, the legislative process could never work.” — House Majority Leader John Boehner (R)

Yeah, that Constitution could never have been written without lobbyists. They were just too shy to draw attention to themselves at the time, and plumb forgot to write themselves in as an adjunct to the legislative branch.

This is even better than Rep. Heather Wilson saying on Countdown that we have two branches of government.

Note to Rep. Boehner: I’d bet a lot of people in this country would like to see Congress making laws without lobbyists. And I’d bet the legislative process would work better too.

Where’s the other shoe?

Seriously, we should be on to the next act by now:

In suspense movies and the thrillers you buy at airport bookshops, the discovery of one single significant piece of evidence—an incriminating letter, a tape recording, a computer disk—suffices to bring down the government. In the real world, the state of the evidence is apparently quite irrelevant. We know perfectly well that the current administration conducts aggressive wars on the basis of fudged intelligence, tortures suspects, taps phones without a warrant in direct violation of black letter law, engages in endless character assassination, buys television personalities, suppresses scientific information from public agencies, helps energy companies rip off states, and winks as its corporate supporters rip off the treasury through sweetheart contracts. Only a tobacco lobbyist could raise doubts about the reality of this pattern of wrongdoing. We’re not talking about vague allegations that the President was once seen with a dubious character. Ken Lay isn’t somebody Bush met once. Kenny Boy was Bush’s number one political supporter. And Ken Lay was only one of a host of felonious corporation capos who collectively make up Bush’s social circle. By the same token, DeLay didn’t just happen to drop in on an Albramoff family bar mitzvah once as a courtesy. The men are joined at the hip—I use a cliché to reflect the banality of a criminal association central to the success of the Republican Party over the last couple of years. And that’s not to bring up the cesspool that is Ohio politics or the election rigging in Florida or many other things. Corruption deluxe, currently holding the World and Olympic records.

We would be better off if the Republicans operated in secret. As it is, the demonstration that a political party with enough control over the courts, prosecutors, and media can get away with anything must surely encourage further excesses. Is there any behavior that would outrage Chris Matthews or Teddy Russert? The precedents are not encouraging. Meanwhile, like dogs, most people only hear the tone of their master’s voice. In the absence of audible signs of a guilty conscience, they won’t dare to draw any conclusions, at least publicly and all the more so because an appropriate proportionate response to the crimes of this administration would be drastic. In a rational world these guys die in prison.

I suppose one could be charitable and claim that something so enormous as this enormity is hard to identify because no one can’t fit its boggling bulk into a single eyegulp. Like the sailors in an old story, we can’t find the whale because we’ve beached our rowboat on its back. I don’t believe that for a minute. There are plenty of people who have seen the whale, excuse me, the elephant; but they apparently aren’t the ones that matter.

UFO Breakfast Recipients has a theory why:

I wonder how far is it possible to take that without venturing into a place where nothing resembling “decent” rationality can remain alive. I know that for the people who still publicly voice support for Bush, there’s no place to retreat. The more adamant you are and have been, the less room for maneuver. They’re now wholly caricatures of PoMo’ing, truth is a social construct types.

Treating as normal people who are dangerously batshit is self-defense. If you pretend not to notice, they pretend too and don’t have to kill you to protect their charade. As always, the people who disturb me most are those who have coddled the charade, but are now getting that sinking, oh my fucking god feeling. They’re anxious for anything that would return us to a world where epistemic relativism isn’t the rule, but they’ve circumscribed their ability to assist that by playing the short term smart game.

I hadn’t considered this– but it does explain why people don’t jump on some of the silliness like intelligent design and the like. If this is how they behave and reason when they aren’t under pressure, how crazy can they get?

(Via Long Story, Short Pier.)

Al “Grandpa” Lewis

CNN.com – Grandpa ‘Munster’ dies at age 82 – Feb 5, 2006:

Al Lewis, the cigar-chomping patriarch of “The Munsters” whose work as a basketball scout, restaurateur and political candidate never eclipsed his role as Grandpa from the television sitcom, died after years of failing health.

I’d have included the years in the header to make Aaron happy, but there’s some argument as to when he was born– somewhere between 1910 and 1923.

I briefly met Grandpa in 1987, at “Late Night at Rubin Hall”, a dorm at NYU, where Dave Mack and I wrote some of the jokes, including most of the Top 10 list they used. It was his looking up at a tall RA and his saying “Boy, you’re a long stream of piss, aren’t you?” that stood out in the minds of just about everybody there. Grandpa Munster cursing? Shocking, and yet perfectly right.

Another New York original. I look forward to his eventual return from the grave in three nights or so.

No amount too small

WFMY News 2 – Council Member Accused Of Taking $2 From Hurricane Katrina Fund:

Police in Ohio say Lakemore council member Gary Bennett took money from a Dunkin’ Donuts jar, set out to raise money for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Akron, OH — A local council member is charged with petty theft.

Police say surveillance video shows newly elected Lakemore council member Gary Bennett walking into a “Dunkin Donuts” in Akron.

While waiting for his order, he apparently grabs $2.

Although the donation cup wasn’t labeled, it was for employee tips that were then donated to a fund for hurricane victims.

Bennett told police he thought the cup was a “give a penny, take a penny” jar.

(Via Countdown.)

Guess which party he’s registered with. Just guess. Got a guess? Go here to see if you were right.