Glenn Hauman: View From Above

It seems there are a lot of Craig’s List ads looking to help and/or take advantage of people in need…

new orleans men seeking women classifieds and want ads:

Thu Sep 08

“H” returns…. – 28 (Hee heeing in America)
immediate marriage offered – 50 (l.a. county)
open heart in nashville – 60 (nashville)
Need a free place to stay? Looking for a friend? Kids welcome. – 55 (Nature Preserve North of San Francisco) pic

Wed Sep 07

Attractive CA white man considering a New Orleans woman for LTR – 43 (Yuba City CA) pic
* Single male in Ny searching for southern sweety
LOOKING FOR A SOUL TO HELP – 31 (PITTSBURGH)
SEEKING A LADY…. – 42 (NEW MEXICO)
Seeking young African-American single mom who wants to rebuild in Cal – 35 (California) pic
looking for a woman who wants to start over in Texas – 50 (Odessa, TX) pic

Tue Sep 06

Oregon Middle-aged Homebuilder seeks SWF – 58 (Portland, Or.) pic
Husband for Cajun Queen – serious replies only please. – 35 (New Braunfels, TX) pic
Wealthy NW Bachelor Here to Help N.O. Lady in Distress (M4W 23-33) – 44 (Pacific NW)

Mon Sep 05

Looking to help – 51 (Ft. Lauderdale)
Want to relieve some stress – 28 (Around New Orleans)
Come to NYC – 32 (NYC)
Re:i’m in los angeles if u want me…seeking relationship, marriage, k – 44 (Maui)

Sun Sep 04

LOOKING FOR A ‘SOUL’ GIRL FOR LTR (Washington, DC)
Looking for lovely young lady to take care of – 48 (New Orleans)
Family with kids Welcome in my house !!!! NEW ORLEANDS VICTIMS (Martinez – san francisco.)
Looking for deaf lady – 45 (Florida)
in Boston free place to stay pic
hello male hurricane victim I am from the Ukraine

Sat Sep 03

PROFESSIONAL BUSINESS MAN SEEKS – 50 (SAN DIEGO)
Visit Chicago My Treat – 35
Jewish man looking to help Jewish folks due to storm – 47 (NJ)
i’m in los angeles if u want me…seeking relationship, marriage, kids – 35 (Los Angeles) pic
A safe place to get on you feet – 45 (Las Vegas) pic
living in southern california warm sunny wanna join me?send pic – 51 (rancho cucamonga)
Help Raising Kids (Illinois)

Fri Sep 02

looking for a nice single lady 26 to 38 – 44 (windsor ohio)
Staying in New York – 32 (new york city)
looking for SBF to stay with me in Atlanta – 30 (hotlanta) pic
Nice Guy In San Diego seeks Pretty Gal – 38 (San Diego)
Miss “H” for Hurricane . . .
Helping a teacher in New Orleans – 47 (Seattle) pic
RE: 3 brm house in Cali… – 28 (Chortling in America..)
Place available in Vegas – 30 (Las Vegas)
2 bedroom house – you get your own room – 34 (Guadalajara)
phone calls made for disaster victims – 42 (near pittsburgh)
Place in Pittsburgh – 42 (Near Pittsburgh)
Place to Stay in Seattle – 35 (Seattle, WA)
extra room for single or small fam.in oregon – 34 (beaverton)
have a place for girl and child – 37 (seattle wa.)
need a fresh start? – 33 (Missouri) pic
colorado musician withdraws housing offer (Denver)

Thu Sep 01

Seattle, Washington – I can provide temporary housing
Need a place to live? Relocate to MN – 28 (Minneapolis)
Colorado musician w/ space; former nawlins resident (Denver)
My name is Clendon, and I am here to help – 38 (Liberty Lake)
Re: Any single women wanting to move? – 28 (Giggling in America.)
Come to Las Vegas – 34 (Las Vegas)
why is it
Oh that snazzy Cool Summer and Sun Tour Guide (with the wig) – 28 (Laughing in America)
thoughts are with you – 45 (new orleans)
God Bless Everyone in the Gulf Coast. – 45 (Colorado)

Wed Aug 31

Attention Ladies SWM from Poconos is starting over as well
“H” is for “Hurricane,” not “Hookers,” you sleazebags… – 28 (Stewing in America….)
extraordinary
IF YOU ARE COMING MY WAY – 42 (CHICAGO)
Help from Las Vegas – 48
N.SF Bay area guy looking for professional lady to help – 45 (Mill Valley CA)
My home could be yours – 40 (Lexington)
free housing in NC (RALEIGH)
I Can Help Out Single Younger Woman, – 51 (Atlanta)
Come to Florida / Female wanted – 42 (Florida)
Come stay with me in St charles Missouri! – 33 (Missouri)

Tue Aug 30

Looking To Help Out SWF Looking For A Way Out Of No Way – 52 (Denver)
california anyone? – 69 (redding)

Sun Aug 28

New Orleans / Los Angeles w/you as you Brave against the storm (Los Angeles)
STACEY DIGGS (NEW ORLEANS)

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I know there are some guys who pick up on women in need because they get a thrill out of helping, but there is that undercurrent of exploitation here– particularly with the marriage offers. Some are good guys here, while others… yeesh.

SIMPSONS SEX!!!! – w4m:

SIMPSONS SEX!!!! – w4m
Reply to: anon-96105810@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-09-07, 10:28PM EDT

I am a tall, lean yellow woman with big blue hair. Looking for a chubby bold man, who wants to poke my donught while he yells d’oh! d’oh! d’ho! for at least 30 mins. You can eat my shorts. I am hot, sexy and very, very .. animated!

Nice to know they can still get it on after 16 years or so…

By way of Herd Thinners Incorporated

Till then we shall be content to admit openly, what you (religionists) whisper under your breath or hide in technical jargon, that the ancient secret is a secret still; that man knows nothing of the Infinite and Absolute; and that, knowing nothing, he had better not be dogmatic about his ignorance. And, meanwhile, we will endeavour to be as charitable as possible, and whilst you trumpet forth officially your contempt for our skepticism, we will at least try to believe that you are imposed upon
by your own bluster.

– Leslie Stephen, “An agnostic’s Apology”, Fortnightly Review, 1876

Via Interesting Times:

A simple but important point:

Ray Nagin is not my mayor (I live in the Portland area, my mayor is Tom Potter). I don’t have any input into his position nor am I overly impacted by his leadership abilities or inabilities.

Kathleen Blanco is not my governor (I live in Oregon, my governor is Ted Kulongoski). I don’t have any input into her positions nor am I overly impacted by her leadership abilities or inabilities.

George W. Bush is my President (well, at least he pretends to be). I am a citizen of the United States. I voted in the elections that put him in office. I am supposed to be his boss and the decisions he makes have and will have a long and lasting effect on me. I am greatly impacted by his leadership inabilities (he has no abilities that remotely qualify as leadership).

So those who say that I should distribute my criticism between Nagin, Blanco and Bush can blow it out their ear. I leave Nagin’s fate to the people of New Orleans. I leave Blanco’s fate to the people of Louisiana.

Bush is mine. He is my monkey and a very bad monkey he has been.

Windows Media Video here

The ‘city’ of Louisiana – Bloggermann – MSNBC.com:

The “city” of Louisiana (Keith Olbermann)

SECAUCUS — Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff said it all, starting his news briefing Saturday afternoon: “Louisiana is a city that is largely underwater…”

Well there’s your problem right there.

If ever a slip-of-the-tongue defined a government’s response to a crisis, this was it.

The seeming definition of our time and our leaders had been their insistence on slashing federal budgets for projects that might’ve saved New Orleans. The seeming characterization of our government that it was on vacation when the city was lost, and could barely tear itself away from commemorating V.J. Day and watching Monty Python’s Flying Circus, to at least pretend to get back to work. The seeming identification of these hapless bureaucrats: their pathetic use of the future tense in terms of relief they could’ve brought last Monday and Tuesday — like the President, whose statements have looked like they’re being transmitted to us by some kind of four-day tape-delay.

But no. The incompetence and the ludicrous prioritization will forever be symbolized by one gaffe by of the head of what is ironically called “The Department of Homeland Security”: “Louisiana is a city”

Politician after politician — Republican and Democrat alike — has paraded before us, unwilling or unable to shut off the “I-Me” switch in their heads, condescendingly telling us about how moved they were or how devastated they were — congenitally incapable of telling the difference between the destruction of a city and the opening of a supermarket.

And as that sorry recital of self-absorption dragged on, I have resisted editorial comment. The focus needed to be on the efforts to save the stranded — even the internet’s meager powers were correctly devoted to telling the stories of the twin disasters, natural… and government-made.

But now, at least, it is has stopped getting exponentially worse in Mississippi and Alabama and New Orleans and Louisiana (the state, not the city). And, having given our leaders what we know now is the week or so they need to get their act together, that period of editorial silence I mentioned, should come to an end.

No one is suggesting that mayors or governors in the afflicted areas, nor the federal government, should be able to stop hurricanes. Lord knows, no one is suggesting that we should ever prioritize levee improvement for a below-sea-level city, ahead of $454 million worth of trophy bridges for the politicians of Alaska.

But, nationally, these are leaders who won re-election last year largely by portraying their opponents as incapable of keeping the country safe. These are leaders who regularly pressure the news media in this country to report the reopening of a school or a power station in Iraq, and defies its citizens not to stand up and cheer. Yet they couldn’t even keep one school or power station from being devastated by infrastructure collapse in New Orleans — even though the government had heard all the “chatter” from the scientists and city planners and hurricane centers and some group whose purposes the government couldn’t quite discern… a group called The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

And most chillingly of all, this is the Law and Order and Terror government. It promised protection — or at least amelioration — against all threats: conventional, radiological, or biological.

It has just proved that it cannot save its citizens from a biological weapon called standing water.

Mr. Bush has now twice insisted that, “we are not satisfied,” with the response to the manifold tragedies along the Gulf Coast. I wonder which “we” he thinks he’s speaking for on this point. Perhaps it’s the administration, although we still don’t know where some of them are. Anybody seen the Vice President lately? The man whose message this time last year was, ‘I’ll Protect You, The Other Guy Will Let You Die’?

I don’t know which ‘we’ Mr. Bush meant.

For many of this country’s citizens, the mantra has been — as we were taught in Social Studies it should always be — whether or not I voted for this President — he is still my President. I suspect anybody who had to give him that benefit of the doubt stopped doing so last week. I suspect a lot of his supporters, looking ahead to ’08, are wondering how they can distance themselves from the two words which will define his government — our government — “New Orleans.”

For him, it is a shame — in all senses of the word. A few changes of pronouns in there, and he might not have looked so much like a 21st Century Marie Antoinette. All that was needed was just a quick “I’m not satisfied with my government’s response.” Instead of hiding behind phrases like “no one could have foreseen,” had he only remembered Winston Churchill’s quote from the 1930’s. “The responsibility,” of government, Churchill told the British Parliament “for the public safety is absolute and requires no mandate. It is in fact, the prime object for which governments come into existence.”

In forgetting that, the current administration did not merely damage itself — it damaged our confidence in our ability to rely on whoever is in the White House.

As we emphasized to you here all last week, the realities of the region are such that New Orleans is going to be largely uninhabitable for a lot longer than anybody is yet willing to recognize. Lord knows when the last body will be found, or the last artifact of the levee break, dug up. Could be next March. Could be 2100. By then, in the muck and toxic mire of New Orleans, they may even find our government’s credibility.

Somewhere, in the City of Louisiana.

Mike O’Hare, posting at Mark A. R. Kleiman’s blog finds even more unused school buses than I did:

If the Mayor and the Governor, and the governments they run, had been on their toes, those buses would have been rolling on Sunday at 6 AM full of the people we watched being plucked off roofs and drowning all last week, because they would have had a tested plan to execute.

Part of the plan would be a contract for contingent bus parking on (possibly) city-owned land out of town and above the flood plain, rented out for pasture otherwise, with a dormitory and dining room for, say 300 drivers. The fairgrounds of an upland county would be good for this. You could have two such locations, one east and one west, and decide which to use when the storm committed itself.

Or you could skip the dormitory and dining room and just have the drivers stay in the buses playing pinochle for the 12 hours the actual storm lasts, then use a few of the buses to bring them back to whatever part of the city was dry to wait either for the “all clear” or for the order to pick up the buses again and start shuttling evacuees back home, if the levees held and the power and water were on, or to more remote longer-term sites if necessary.

Any competently-run city in the hydrological and geomorphological situation of New Orleans would have a constantly updated register of contract drivers and extra sets of keys at City Hall, and every school bus and transit driver would have in his or her contract that she was to report to the garage with a lunchbox and her assigned emergency route map when the mayor said Boo.

In fact, I think it would have had a full-scale drill, combined with a big concert, fish fry, and bonfires when everyone came home in the evening. One more time: for decades this has been “a city that will at some point fill with water to the eaves.”

The Israelis (and the Swiss) can get an army in the streets in a couple of hours: butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers ready to shoot. Having evacuation transportation lined up at all times ready to roll is, I believe, exactly the same sort of basic government survival function for New Orleans, like the self-sufficient hospital up on a platform.

I certainly don’t think Louisianans dropping the ball makes national incompetence any less reprehensible, because I don’t believe in the death penalty by drowning or dehydration for voting wrong in the last election. But that they did in fact drop the ball is obvious, and was about as predictable as the storm itself.

See the photo. I lost count how many school buses are underwater.

Absolutely Shameless:

From Crooks and Liars: The National Review Online is suggesting the Republican Party schedule their 2008 national convention in New Orleans.

(Via Suburban Guerrilla.)

Oh, yeah. Why don’t we jam them into the Convention Center, then keep them in there for the length of the convention without food, water, and working toilets? Maybe we can even have some dead babies in there, and I’m not talking about the fetuses in jars that so many Republicans seem to bring to these events.

And don’t forget the moat of swamp water.

Here’s the best summary I’ve seen on the economic impact on New Orleans to the rest of the country, from Stratfor. It matches my views almost perfectly.

We are now about to be put on a wartime footing, whether we like it or not.

New Orleans: A Geopolitical Prize – News Archive – Stratfor:

New Orleans: A Geopolitical Prize

By George Friedman

September 01, 2005 22 30 GMT — The American political system was founded in Philadelphia, but the American nation was built on the vast farmlands that stretch from the Alleghenies to the Rockies. That farmland produced the wealth that funded American industrialization: It permitted the formation of a class of small landholders who, amazingly, could produce more than they could consume. They could sell their excess crops in the east and in Europe and save that money, which eventually became the founding capital of American industry.

But it was not the extraordinary land nor the farmers and ranchers who alone set the process in motion. Rather, it was geography — the extraordinary system of rivers that flowed through the Midwest and allowed them to ship their surplus to the rest of the world. All of the rivers flowed into one — the Mississippi — and the Mississippi flowed to the ports in and around one city: New Orleans. It was in New Orleans that the barges from upstream were unloaded and their cargos stored, sold and reloaded on ocean-going vessels. Until last Sunday, New Orleans was, in many ways, the pivot of the American economy.

For that reason, the Battle of New Orleans in January 1815 was a key moment in American history. Even though the battle occurred after the War of 1812 was over, had the British taken New Orleans, we suspect they wouldn’t have given it back. Without New Orleans, the entire Louisiana Purchase would have been valueless to the United States. Or, to state it more precisely, the British would control the region because, at the end of the day, the value of the Purchase was the land and the rivers – which all converged on the Mississippi and the ultimate port of New Orleans. The hero of the battle was Andrew Jackson, and when he became president, his obsession with Texas had much to do with keeping the Mexicans away from New Orleans.

During the Cold War, a macabre topic of discussion among bored graduate students who studied such things was this: If the Soviets could destroy one city with a large nuclear device, which would it be? The usual answers were Washington or New York. For me, the answer was simple: New Orleans. If the Mississippi River was shut to traffic, then the foundations of the economy would be shattered. The industrial minerals needed in the factories wouldn’t come in, and the agricultural wealth wouldn’t flow out. Alternative routes really weren’t available. The Germans knew it too: A U-boat campaign occurred near the mouth of the Mississippi during World War II. Both the Germans and Stratfor have stood with Andy Jackson: New Orleans was the prize.

Continue reading Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?

…to more usual themes around here, we seque with this from TRL: The Rob Log:

NOTHING LIKE A MAJOR DISASTER TO MAKE A GUY HORNY

Any college students want to come stay in NYC for a few days? – 20
Reply to: anon-94749556@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-09-01, 8:58AM CDT

18-21 college students who need a place to crash and get away from the south for a few days, e-mail me a picture and your situation. I want to help.

this is in or around Lower Manhattan

Things that never change: the sun rises, the sun sets, and you can’t get Katrina Sex via Craigslist without a recent photo.

One could have just as easily included “No Fatties” in the posting, but after a few days without food or water, that’s probably redundant.

(While trying to clear out my draft posts folder, I came across this notion from May, and figured we could all use this as a break from reading about New Orleans.)

(Where was I? Oh, yeah. In a past life…)

…I was the co-host of the Love Conference on EchoNYC. This was back in the early days of Echo, pre-WWWAC and pre-Mosiac.

With all that, I’m finding this thread on Craig’s List Casual Encounters to be absolutely fascinating. Since the posts have been removed, I save them here for posterity.

It started with this post to Craig’s List Casual Encounters section:

married woman looking for married man – w4m 43yr: “Im 5’1, 115, white, petite, blonde, grey eyes, great smile and very good skin.

Guys – I posted about twenty minutes ago – I’ve had already at least a dozen replies – that’s good. What’s not good is that none have bothered to read my post. You should be (non-negotiable) 40 -45 (sorry ‘Bronx Buck – 32’), in good shape (sorry ‘JK’) and able to write a decent email. You must send a pic. ‘Cocker’ from Poughkeepsie, you are an idiot and I hope you never procreate.

Im looking for a man age 40 – 45, local area. You must be white, married, at least 5’9, in good shape and able to treat this as a no-strings meeting that may possibly lead to further meetings if the sex is very good. You should also be courteous, well-groomed and able to hold a conversation. I like dirty talk in bed but its a turn-off in your first email or first phone conversation.

My husband is away until Friday – I can meet any time until then, after that I can only meet on weekday mornings. I will share hotel bill. If we meet it must be somewhere at least 20 miles from Chappaqua. We will meet for a coffee or drink. If that goes well, we get a room.

Please reply with a message about you and a pic. You get my pic if I like your email and pic.

• this is in or around Chappaqua
• no — it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

71277456″

(Via craigslist nyc.)

Continue reading In a past life…